Patience IS a virtue

Have you ever wanted something right now? I sure have. In fact, I think I am one of the most impatient people in my household. Waiting just kills me. Waiting seems like such a waste of time. Standing in long lines at the grocery store, sitting on the porch waiting for a bus that is 15 minutes past pick up time, standing at the front door watching a 13 year old look for her shoes when 10 minutes have past since I first told her to put her shoes on.... and the list keeps going.

In my life, I've to do a lot of waiting, and with that, you would think that I would have learned to be patient. Nope.

I was engaged for almost 2 years... waiting for the visa's to come through, waiting on US Embassies, things way beyond my control, like an ocean away. Warsaw to be exact. And then when he finally was given his visa, we had to wait for flight arrangements. Ah, those last several weeks leading up to his immigration were so LONG.

And then, my first pregnancy. The last half was like a million years long. At week 20 I was told that my baby girl had only 2 chambers of the heart working, that her spine was exposed, and that her head was much larger than it should be. And for the the next 4 months, I lived with every doctor under the sun telling me, "We just have to WAIT and see." And then once she was born, until she was about 2, everything was "wait and see." Will she talk? Will she be aware of her surroundings? Will she have some mental disabilities? Will she walk? Will she, will she, will she.... Oh, I came to cringe at the phrase, "wait and see."

There have been many more examples in my life when I have had to exercise patience. And it has been very hard for me on the inside. God may have blessed me with grace on the outside but I've always been a basket case of nervousness and anxiety and impatience on the inside.

About a month ago, as I was driving, the Lord told me to practice my patience. Usually I am one who drives carefully but the slowest driver in front of me will drive me nuts. I will properly change lanes just to get around him. And somehow in the process, I receive a sense of satisfaction when I zip around the pokey driver. Oh, it is amazing the endorphins that are released when I am finally going my desired speed with nobody in front of me to slow me down. So, as I set out on this particular errand, the Lord instructed me to practice my patience. It was so hard to just sit and wait behind every driver! I did not allow myself to pass, I remained in the right lane, accepting whatever came my way. The first 5 minutes were like pulling teeth.... but then an overwhelming peace covered me and I was so proud to be driving in victory over my impatience. "Thank you God for this lesson!" I said out loud in my van. I was excited to report to my husband that I had been patient!

My kids! I tell them all the time, "Have patience!" when they are nagging or relentlessly asking for a refil on their milk. Usually I am doing something else for them such as making a sandwich or finishing the dishes. When I was a child, in Ft. Woth, TX we learned a song at church about a little frog Herbert. To this day, I remember "The Patience Song" and my kids know it quite well now too! We have sung that song a million times, no doubt. Yest we all need more patience!

"No great thing is created suddenly, any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig. If you tell me that you desire a fig, I answer you that there must be time. Let it first blossom, then bear fruit, then ripen."
- Epictetus, first century Greek Stoic philosopher. Although he believed "Fate" controlled his life, isn't it good we know the Master Gardener who truly controls all things!

I'm also reminded of something my friend Helen says frequently... "It's not the end result, it's the journey, the process, the relationship." That makes sense! It's not the dark ripe fig- any dehydrater can make do that. But if you let it alone to do it's thing on the tree, it's a large green thing first, and after many many days in the sun it becomes the sweetest of fruits. Oh, my grandfather has fig trees and my Meema makes fig preserves. Compare that whole process to the store bought version of fig jam. Just no comparrision!

A book I am currently reading Family Fragrance talks about the aroma of Christ. I see how patience needs to be my aroma this week. As I sit here writing before anyone wakes up, I smell my glowing Pumpkin Spice candle, and I realize that my impatience is rotten. I need to put on my patiece so I don't stink. Today I am going to smell like patience! Let's just see how much easier the day goes, not just my day but my children and husband's day as well.

Stay tuned for "The Patience Test" results :)

rambling

Here I sit on my couch, waiting for Boston Legal to come on. So the TV is on and I'm half heatedly watching the Dancing show on TV. When I get to heaven, I know I am going to be a dancer. I am a prim a ballerina in my heart. But one who worships and praises, not one who performs with costumes and judges with paperplate-type score paddles.

So since we are waiting for the show to start, he doesn't want to watch dancing and that's OK. So he is sitting in his car just listening to his book on tape. I'm sitting here doing my thing and I'm OK with him doing his thing, but why do we not have a CD player for him to play his book inside. I make a comment about him sitting in his car, just sitting and how it just seems odd, like I've kicked him out or something. He said that it was OK.

Went camping this past weekend with Crossfire. Had a more than wonderful talk with Pam Crane sitting in the sand on the playground. We want to take the kids to their homestead to see the farm and the cows. Nadia wants to give a bottle to the baby cows :) I wonder if they drink formula or if they drink milk that has been milked from the milking machine.
Back to camping... love that Lina came, enjoyed getting to know Margie better, loved to watch all of the newlyweds interact and only wished I could have sat around the campfire with Randi, Helen, Pam, and Lina more than we had time for. Wished it was only a tad cooler, so the hot tea and cocoa were needed, not wanted. Wished I had looked into the trails and the yurt... but caring for 2 kids while hubby was the firemaster was a lot. Glad to see Baby Deema roll and explore the pine needles, dirt, and pine cones. Really want to camp agin this fall... glorious weekend to remember.

My de Quervain's tendinitis got bad in the spring so I had the surgery over the summer. But yesterday it started feeling achy.... today it is in pain. I cant figure out if it is the exact same thing or something very similar in close proximity to the tendons. Not sure what to do... hurts a lot today.

carpets got steam cleaned today, walking around in very wet socks, so why walk in wet socks? Why not walk bare footed??

Costco... I know I spent a lot more money than I expected. I had a list, I had a teen ager and a husband, maybe that is why. I think I should go alone. Humm.... but then I would take my time strolling and going leisurely up and down each aisle. So, maybe not the best time management. But I did like the gas for 2.79 at the club price!!

Well, guess that is getting all of my thoughts out of my mind and through my arms and out into print, maybe that will save some time for a bit extra sleep! Love me some sleep!